Why Zuko and Katara Could Never Be
by Jimmy the Gothic Egg
Summary: All the reasons given that Katara and Zuko are not made for each other. He's evil. [It's a goddamn spoof. Stop asking me if I mean any of it.]


My response to a petition and the comments therein. This is purely spoof and fun on other's behalf. The link to the petition is on my profile. Some words actually quoted from comments left on the petition. Repeated with my sarcasm and 'wit.'

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_Why Zuko and Katara Could Never Be, and Why Aang and Katara are Destined for Each Other_

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"Oh no!" Katara cries melodramatically. "Prince Zuko has captured me and wants me to be his bride!"

Aang steps forward heroically. "Obviously you could never love him. You aren't cute enough. Unlike us."

"You're right!" Katara strikes a pensive pose. "And he's UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGLLLY!"

"And he was so insensitive when he kept your necklace and didn't give it back to you."

"I know! And apparently he wants to kill you. That's why I hated Jet. Not because he was about to kill a city of innocents, but because he was after you. Haru wasn't after you. Remember? We liked him."

"Oh yeah. And he killed your mother. Someone as mature and levelheaded as Katara would NEVER go with someone who helped destroy her village and kill her mother. You're too smart to love anyone from the Fire Nation."

"Exactly." She smiles proudly. "And remember. I told him to jump in a river. Obviously I can't possibly feel any emotion towards him besides hate."

"And it'd be too much like a soap opera. That's be horrible, even though we all watch Inuyasha and that's in _no way_ like a soap opera."

"And we're _complete_ opposites. And everyone knows opposites totally don't attract, especially in nearly every anime every created."

"You forget," he reminds. "We're not _really_ an anime. We look like one, but anime is classified as any animation coming from Japan."

"Oh. Yeah. But remember, Zuko's _evil_."

"Of course! He's a bad guy from the Fire Nation who does bad stuff. Even though we've properly shown him as merely an anti-hero, and is in no way as evil as his sister."

"He's also very self-centered. The only reason he's after you is to become Fire Lord. It has nothing to do with honor or finding one's way back home."

"Absolutely not."

"Zuko is a banished prince. He stole my neckalace (sic). Was involved with the death of my mother, and he is trying to capture the only hope for the other 3 nations. And obviously there's no chance at all that he can turn and become our ally because he's an evil prince."

"And he doesn't want love. We're ememies (sic). You'd never turn against me."

"Think about it, you can put FIRE out with WATER!"

"And in no other novel, book, or TV show has water and fire loved, or the moon and the sun for that matter."

"And remember Zuko has no heart to speak of."

"You're absolutely right. So, let's be off and together we can fall in love and make more air-benders."

They walk off, arm-in-arm, whistling.

In the back of the room they'd just been speaking in stands a very confused Zuko.

"…I have a heart…"

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Notes:**

Let's review, shall we?

Um, yeah. One of my favorite quotes of all time is a quote from _Inkspell_ about fire and water "loving passionately." And who's read _Sunlight and Shadow_?

Okay, really, this is just me making fun of the comments being put on the petition. The only connection Zuko has to Katara's dead mother is that he's from the Fire Nation, but everyone made it sound like he stood in front of Katara and brutally murdered her mother. And a lot of people hate Zuko. I don't know how. He's kind of cuddly…

And someone made a comment that he was going to "kill" Aang. That would be the stupidest mistake anyone could make. If Aang is killed the search for the Avatar begins anew.

But it's all fanfiction. For us anyway. There you go.

**I do, to a point, support Katara/Aang, mostly because they're more canon than any other pairing we've seen. I mostly write for Katara/Zuko. If offended by anything written within here, you can message me or something and perhaps we can have an intelligent conversation. Hopefully.**

I'm considering starting a spoof pairing: Azula/Katara. Let's see how many petitions we can get going after that.


End file.
